i was at Pow Wow yesterday, and saw the weirdest thing. A big shirtless guy had dollar bills stapled all over his chest and back. A guy with a staple gun was following behind him. Every time someone gave the guy a dollar he would staple it to the shirtless man and he wouldn’t even flinch. He must have had twenty one dollar bills stapled to him, which in my opinion, is not worth that kind of effort.
Things that cheer me up May 3, 2008
I’ve been pretty depressed lately, and not much has cheered me up. But just now I looked out my living room window and saw an old man in a BMW convertible blasting Marvin Gaye’s Let’s get it on. An old white man, balding, overwieght, the typical guy going through a mid-life crisis. It was awesome. It made me smile. And he was dancing by himself. Maybe I’ll be at that point soon. Only I have a Honda, not a convertible.
I keep thinking about this time I saw a duck get run over on Pratt Street. I was walking home from work, a couple of blocks from the harbor, and I saw two ducks walking on the sidewalk, on the side of the street that is opposite the water. I have bad vision, so I wasn’t sure if they were ducks until I got very close to them. I smiled because it just looked so out of place. Just as I got about ten feet from them, one of the ducks jumped out into the street just as traffic was going by. A cab ran over it, and feathers were everywhere. The other duck went nuts, and tried to run into the street after the other one. The duck was still moving, trying to lift its head off the street. I chased it toward the Legg Mason building so that it wouldn’t get hit too. Then I felt bad. Ducks mate for life don’t they? It was just disturbing and romantic at the same time.
I guess I’ll go to Mexico in two weeks. Ride down with my friend in a rental car. Buy beads from little children with dirty hands. Maybe I’ll be able to cope with things in a foreign environment. We have never been to Mexico. WE is no longer we. It’s just me now.
A friendly card April 27, 2008
So in a couple hours I am going to my boyfriend’s house, probably soon to be my ex-boyfriend’s house, and we will discuss whether or not we will end our three and a half year relationship. I’m thinking it will end badly, as tears and affirmations of love on my part have illicited no response from my beloved. So, this time, instead of crying and pleading him to stay, I have a friendly card waiting in my purse for him. It has a cute little bunny on the front and it says OH, YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE, and then when you open it up, it says BUT I SURE AM GLAD YOU DID. I love him, but he’s an asshole, so why shouldn’t I be one back? Sometimes it’s just not satisfying to be the better person.